I sit breathless – my heart pumping – feel my heartbeat fast and strong. No – nothing frightening has happened – nothing has caused me to feel fear – I’m just breathless – simply out of breath! Thank goodness my heartbeat is strong though – it’s just that when it beats so fast all I want it to do is to slow down!
No – my breathlessness is simply caused by my first exercise of the morning – and before you get any ideas about my indulging in a morning run – or press-ups ( perish the thought ) – I’ve simply got myself up – showered and gone up and down stairs a couple of times.
That’s what age does for you!
I consider myself quite fit at – – what is looked on as ‘young/old’ age (73) I have to admit to a fare amount of joint pain – but am still healthy and able to be active every day.
‘Age’ – such a strange thing though. As I talk with others I find that we so often feel the same. As the years pass we have this strange – almost contradiction of ‘aging’ – and ‘staying the same’. I don’t ‘feel’ that much older – I just feel ‘me’ – the same as I imagine I have always been.
Yes – I have changed – experiences of life have added to and enriched my life – but – the essence of myself doesn’t seem to have changed.
Inside – in my soul and spirit – are the same desires – dreams – the same sense of being a part of my world and the much wider world.
So many of the experiences that I have had the privilege of being a part of still live in my heart. There’s an energy in my soul that no longer matches the energy in my body.
I find myself wanting to do so much more than my body will allow me to do. I see and hear of needs that touch my heart and cause that desire to rise up within me – to meet that need – to lend that hand – to reach out to so many in this needy world in which I live.
I’ve had to come to recognise that physically I cannot go at the same pace – my days start today shows me that! Whereas at one time I could have run up and down those stairs 10 times and possibly gone out for a run too – and not be breathless – things have changed.
I’ve reached the age of limitations!
All that means in truth though is that I go about my life at a different pace. The ‘way’ in which I can continue to get involved in the needs of others has changed – but I can still act on those desires that rise up in my spirit. I can still find my place here in my world – still reach out to others – still seek to be understanding and loving.
My heart and mind reach out – and in order to fulfil all that is in my heart all I need to do is to readjust a little – accept my limitations – yet – at the same time – maybe stretch them a little!
I love this quote from a great man – Billy Graham – who died this week aged 99